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Ways Roller Derby has Changed My Life:

By June 13, 2012General
1.) I have a drawer dedicated to knee socks and tights.
2.) I can’t leave a store without checking the clearance underwear section.
3.) Glitter and skulls have both found their way into my wardrobe.
4.) I have discovered half a dozen uses for handkerchiefs.
5.) For better or worse, I am now a part of a girl gang….even when I retire.
6.) I am in better shape than I have been in years.
7.) My feet are in the worst shape they have ever been.
8.) I can do things on skates that I can’t do in shoes.
9.) I now know where most of my bruises come from.
10.) I had to buy bigger jeans to accommodate the increase in my thighs and booty, and most of the time, I just wear yoga pants.
11.) People now find me vastly more interesting…”Really?  You’re in roller derby?  Have you ever been hurt?”
12.) I have overcome my instinct to run away when someone is out to hit me.
13.) I know more than I ever thought I would about wheels, bearings, plates, helmets, knee pads and mouth guards.
14.) I am envious of women with more mass.
15.) I have an entire set of friends that have aliases (and sometimes I don’t even know their real names).
16.) I have panties that have been seen by the public.
17.) I view tights with holes as desirable.
18.) I am on committees within committees.
This post is brought to you by Cornfed’s very own Slipper E. Noodle.

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